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Tuesday, April 20, 2004
Don King - Only in America
Equal parts Buckwheat and Dragon Ball Z, Don King is a complex character...
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Like Jay-Z, he's Che Guevara with Bling Bling on...
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Like Al Sharpton and Donald Trump his coiffure defies gravity...
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He is the self-proclaimed undisputed heavyweight champion of the art of 'negrogiatation'.
Usually he can be found promoting his fights at boxing press conferences, but recently he's taken up a different cause, the 2004 George W. Bush reelection campaign. During an interview with CNN's Anderson Cooper, where he wore a jean jacket decorated with the likeness of George W., a Barbara Bush pin, and numerous American flags, King proclaimed that he's not a Democrat, not a Republican, but rather that rare hybrid a Republicrat. When Cooper asked him what kind of a chance John Kerry had in the 2004 election, King said, "John Kerry has two chances of winning this election- slim and none, and slim just left town." Well put.
He's freedom fighting, and not afraid to make a few bucks doing so. In between campaigning for Bush's presidency, he promoted the Ruiz/Oquendo Heavyweight title bout. He also made the claim that he has had a hand in making more black millionaries in this country than anyone else. However, he neglected to mention that he has bankrupted nearly as many. Nonetheless Don King is, as Dave Chapelle can attest, truly a spendiferous and monumentous self-made American.