Fasten, fit closely, bind together.

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

The Big Aristotle Philosophizes... 

The Kobe/Shaq Feud has been much publicized.   Following the Lakers NBA Final loss to the Pistons, the two superstars decided they could no longer co-exist.  So Shaq was traded to Miami and now Kobe has the Lakers all to himself.  The duo won three consecutive championships together.  Time will tell if either wins a championship on his own.  But there is no question who is the better interview.  Here is an excerpt from Shaq's interview with ESPN's Colleen Dominguez

When was last time you talked to Kobe?

O'Neal: I don't know, and I don't care. I don't know.

If Kobe called you on your cell right now, what would you say?

O'Neal: I don't have a cell phone. People that I'm connected with ... all you got to do is think -- I call you. I don't have a cell phone and that's the problem with Diesel -- I'm technologically more advanced than you are. My thought process begins where the regular human apex is at.


Monday, July 19, 2004

A Little Recognition for the Good Folks at AYAP 

Rico, N. Dot, and I started an SAT tutoring service this past semester, ambitiously dubbed the American Youth Advancement Project (AYAP).  We shot for the stars and ended up somewhere in Chelsea, but it was a rewarding experience nonetheless.  The NYU Office Of Community Service wrote about AYAP on page 16 of their Service Matters quarterly publication.   
In other news... there hasn't been any news that I have felt like commenting on or linking too.  The summer months are slow, and I have felt lethargic due to the abysmal show of support here at The Bluff.  If anyone still reads this thing, or would like to post on it, by all means... shout shout let it all out.  
Rico, let's hear about The Dave Matthews concerts (if you are in any shape to write about them).  N. Dot, when you aren't putting together prospectuses, why don't you weigh in on Michael Moore, the upcoming G.O.P. Convention, or possibly the much anticipated and much delayed Talib Kweli album.  Zwill, we haven't see you on Billiken in months, did you get you lose your laptop in a high stakes game of Texas Hold'Em?  


Tuesday, July 13, 2004

What Would Happen if Mike Ditka Ran for Senate Against God?  

Mike Ditka, former Chicago Bears coach, is considering running for Senate, taking Illinois Republican nominee Jack Ryan's place on the November ballot.

Ryan withdrew from the race after Marv Albert-esque sex allegations swirled around him during the divorce proceedings from his wife, actress Jeri Ryan. Ditka is not commiting to anything at this point, but his fans and constituents are urging him to run, and have developed a website dedicated to the cause.

This is not unprecedented. In Minnesota a pro-wrestler, Jesse Ventura, become governor of the state. In California, a futuristic cyborg Terminator is now governor. Not to mention the more banal, but nonetheless relevant, career trajectory of Bill Bradley NBA Hall of Famer who became New Jersey Senator. And Ditka wouldn't even be the first football coach to make the jump from the pig skin to Capitol Hill. After a highly successful career as football coach at Univ. Nebraska, Tom Osborne was elected Congressman in Nebraska's 3rd District.

Coaches are natural leaders, particularly football coaches. Just imagine the possibilites of a Bill Parcells/Bill Bellicheck Ticket. Parcells as president would be equal parts Clinton and Rumsfeld. Like Rumsfeld, Parcells would be the loud mouth cowboy, barking his way into trouble (diatribing about Old Europe, Japs, and the Orientals) and then smooth talking his way out of it like Slicky Willy. Behind the scenes Bellicheck, the master logistician, would be secretly pulling the strings in his Cheney-esque role. He would come to work dressed like a schlub in sweat pants but he would be a forced to be reckoned with.

This dynamic ticket would win the hearts and minds of the American public. It would unite the country across partisan lines. They would take a no-nonsense approach to the executive office. The Bills sacking the deficit. The Big Tuna threatening to cut certian unproductive states like West Virginia and Delaware from the Union, unless they start to pull their weight. Bellicheck drawing up a corner blitz to hit Bin Laden in his blindside. If there is one thing the America citizen respects it is a coach/president who has a proven track and produces results.

Of course Mike Ditka throwing his hat in the political ring would beg the question of all questions- What would happen if Ditka, of the G.O.P., ran against G.O.D? I'll let Chevy Chase field this one-

Ditka 283 --- GOD 14 . Well there you have it folks.

"I'm not a genius," Ditka said Monday. "I'm pretty common sense. I'm just a guy. [But] I don't see a whole lot of [common sense] prevailing in the Senate right now." I couldn't agree more.

Tuesday, July 06, 2004

What in the Name of Navel Oranges?!? 

After my recent spree of diatribes about the NY Post, it was suggested to me that maybe I should relax a little. Two weeks ago, I questioned why Bill O'Reilly was so vigilant in lambasting the journalistic intergrity of the NY Times, while he let The Post's gaffes go by without so much as a slap on the wrist. I was told by some of my constituents that the Post was nothing more than a tabloid newspaper and should be regarded as such. They said that comparing the NY Times and NY Post was like comparing apples with oranges.

Well surely an orange, even a Florida orange from let's say infamous Dade County, Fl, could have gotten this one right.

As everyone knows by now John Kerry chose John Edwards as his Vice Presidential running mate. The NY Post thought otherwise. The Post announced on their front cover that Kerry had chosen Gephardt as his running mate. The correct candidate was first reported on NBC's "Today Show" at 7:30 a.m. I'm not sure precisely what time the NY Post goes to press with its early edition, but it's well before 7:30 AM. Rupert Murdoch and Co. wanted to get the scoop on this story, or maybe they simply wanted to confuse the multitudes of loyal NY Post readers that commute with me on the F-Train.


There were a few other jimillikens in the news today, namely the management of the Utah Jazz and The Golden State Warriors. Free agent Mehmet Okur signed a 6-year $50 million dollar deal with Utah. Mehmet was a role player for the Detroit Pistons during their championship run. He averaged 9 ppg and 6 rpg, albeit he played a bigger role than Darko, but 9 + 6 hardly equals $50 million.

I understand Utah has some money to spend and loves filling its roster with white guys. But As Dave Chappelle says, Okur's whiteness is under review. The Jazz's Mormon owner, Larry Miller, should have done his homework. Okur is from Turkey. The same Turkey that the EU is trying its hardest to exclude from Europe.

But the madness doesn't stop there. The Warriors resigned backup center Adonal Foyle to a 5-year $41 million contract, yes the same Foyle who put up stats of 3 points and nearly 4 rebounds per contest! It's good to see that the Knicks aren't the only team that has no concept of talent, money, or potential.


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