The Billiken's Bluff

This is old news by now, but it's still something that needs to be commented on. Victoria's Secret, who for the past two years ran a lingerie special on CBS, has decided to preemptively cancel their special this year. They are doing this to avoid the notoriety that they would no doubt receive for airing a prime time show featuring beautiful women in their underwear. To their credit, Victoria's Secret did not try to take the high road and claim that they felt airing such a special would be indecent. Rather, they said that due to the increased public scrutiny that such events have been receiving, and due to the FCC's hardline approach to indecency, they are pulling the program. It's a new day. Remember this is the year 2004 of Our Lord Savior, there is a new standard of morality sweeping across the nation.


What is so different about 2004, than 2003 when the show received high ratings, or 1999 when the special was broadcasted on the internet receiving so many hits that cbs.com had to shut down for 20 minutes? Well just about everything. Janet's exposed spiked-metal-star boob ruined it for us all. It was soggy, droopy, and as a result we won't be seeing any of what Janet was desperately in need of- a
support bra.

But Janet really isn't the culprit. Things are getting a bit out of hand with the crusade on sexuality. Howard Stern has been kicked off of Clear Channel for producing the same raunchy product that he has for years. People still want to hear Howard, and they still want to see Victoria's Secret Models strut down the runway. But unfortunately those who are shocked by such such smut are waging a war on the private parts of the body.

Ok I have a solution. Instead of worrying about Little Dick And Jane flipping the channel to CBS and seeing Tyra Banks in a thong....Don't let them watch TV. Have them read a book. Read them a book. Play a board game. Get them some paints and pastels. Do something.