The Billiken's Bluff

In recent years we have seen the sports media shift the spotlight to an ever-younger crop of athletes. The Little League World Series showcases 12 year old boys playing baseball. ESPN televises the games nationally and even internationally. Swimmer Michael Phelps, age 19, won 8 medals (6 gold, 2 bronze) at the Olympics. Nike signed LeBron James to a $90 million endorsement contract before his high school graduation (Powerade just came out with a new flavor: LEBRON, yummmm). With this surge in youth athletics and the wealth that comes with it, it is understandable that parents will stop at no lengths, spare no expense, to see that their children succeed. Parents send their children to sport summer camps, hire personal pitching coaches, weight trainers, dieticians, and gurus of every sort. Richard Williams sent his pre-teen daughters Venus and Serena to the Florida tennis academy of teaching pro Ric Macci. Parents send their gymnast daughters to places like the Karolyi Ranch where they train 18 hours a day mastering the art of the pummel horse.

While parents can go any one of these routes in attempting to mold their child into the next Tiger Woods, there is a much simpler and more surefire way to ensure your child is adulated by sports fans everywhere. Just name your child something that rhymes with BOOO.

Sports fans love to participate in the game. They bring banners, paint their faces, wave white hankies, wear foam fingers, and bang thunder-clappers all in an attempt to root their hometown heroes on, and to feel as if they are part of the action.

I went to a number of Islander/Rangers hockey games at the Nassau Coliseum during the early 1990s, when hockey still attracted the nation's attention (and mine). Both Rangers and Islanders fans would attend the games, and every time, without fail, the Islander’s fans would begin a derisive chant of ‘1940’. Taunting the Rangers fans with the year of the last time the Rangers won the Stanley Cup. The chant would echo throughout the arena, it was deafening, and it got the point across. It had been over 50 years since the Rangers had won the championship, it was a huge albatross that hung around the franchise's neck, and the Islander's fans wanted to chant the date as a constant reminder. The mood would turn vicious. Beers spilt, threats were made, fans were at each others throats. At times I felt I was at the Roman Coliseum and not the one on Long Island down the road from Roosevelt Field Mall.

This is the power of a good chant. It turns the atmosphere in the stadium electric. The key to this type of fan participation is to have a chant with clearly defined, easily annunciated syllables. Fans would gladly chant Shaquille O'Neal's name, except you simply cannot chant so many syllables while maintaining any semblance of cohesion in the crowd. DEFENSE (DE-FENSE) is a popular chant willing the home team to stop the opponent. But by far the vocal weapon of choice is the booo. It is easy to pronounce, easy to chant in unison with the entire stadium. Fans may boo their own team when they play poorly, or booo a poor call by a referee or umpire. But the booo can be used in another way as well. Enter Duce Staley.



Duce Staley is as mediocre a running back as you will find. His career with the Philadelphia Eagles was marked by decidingly average statistics. Over his 7-year career Duce averaged 49.1 yards per game and his career high for touchdowns in a season is 5. Hardly Pro-Bowl numbers, yet he was a fan favorite. Why you ask? Quite simply because his named rhymed with booo.

When Duce would carry the ball for the Eagles a thunderous BOOOooooo would swell up in at Lincoln Financial Stadium. The announcer would translate this noise for the television viewer at home. The fans aren't booing the Eagles, they are chanting Duce's name. Duuuuce is just a vocal twinge away from Boooo. It didn't matter that Duce lacked break-away speed, that he couldn't find his way into the end zone. Duce incited the crowd. He made the Eagles fans feel as if the game was interactive. By chanting his name like some Gregorian Monks, the fans felt like they were willing the Eagles to the end zone.

The Pittsburgh Steelers signed Duce in the off season and during last Friday's pre-season home game the Steelers' fans got an opportunity to use their collective booooo to urge Duce onward.

This aural phenomenon is not unique to Duce. It works with any athlete who has the good fortune to have his name rhyme with Boooo. Daryl ‘Moose’ Johnston was the fullback for the Dallas Cowboys during their early 90s dominance. A fan favorite, and booed (mooed) to no-end. The New Orleans Saints have a tight end named Boo Williams who is received with the same roar every time he catches a pass.

The late sports journalist, Ralph Wiley, wrote a column about Luke Walton (Bill Walton’s son) in early June. Luke, a Lakers rookie, turned in a huge game and kept the Lakers from falling behind 2-0 against the Pistons in the NBA Finals. Walton had 8 assists and made some beautiful passes. The Lakers’ crowd began chanting Luuuuuuuke which just like Duce, can be tweaked into a roaring Boooo. The crowd loved him.



Wiley referred to Luke as the “White Magic”. He went on to discuss Larry Bird's controversial comment that the NBA needs more white superstars, or even a single white superstar, because that is what the fans want to see. The idea of Wiley’s article was that if another Lakers' role player such as Kareem Rush, or Devean George had turned in the type of performance that Luke did, the crowd wouldn't have been chanting their names.

But I offer another postulate, the fan's chanted his name because it rhymed with booo, and thus could be easily chanted from the rafters. Kareem can’t be yelled with such fluency, Devean certainly can’t be screamed from the stadium's rafters. Luuuuuuuuuuke Walton is a superstar in the making.

Jerry Seinfeld jokes that if you name your son Jeeves that you're pigeonholing your child for a lifetime of dusting and dish-washing. While few aspire to work as butlers, there are millions of parents who want would like to see their sons and daughters play professional sports. Name your kids wisely.