The Billiken's Bluff

I'll have to hand it to the "Dos" and his decisive 4 million vote margin of victory. This gives him quite the mandate to spread Democracy to all corners of the globe. I want to offer a suggestion, as we bring Democracy to oppressed peoples everywhere, let's also make English (American English mind you) the official global language. It already is the de facto vernacular the world over.

Consider...

1. 18 months ago in a Budapest Hotel lobby... My Czech professor could not speak Hungarian. The Hungarian desk attendant could not speak Czech. They met half way and conducted their business in English.

2. 3 days ago in Krabi, Thailand... A longtail boat driver inquires, in English, where a certain passenger is from. The passenger replies Kuala Lumpur. The driver probes further asking if he is Muslim. Yes, in fact he was. They go on to converse about hotel recommendations, Ramadan, and the political unrest around the Thai/Malaysian border. The entire conversation in infidel english.

3. And finally... I came across another troop of monkeys near a hotel entrance, a Japanese couple stood next to me. The man offered one of the monkeys a piece of pineapple, and said, in broken English, "Hello, here pineapple", apparently assuming the monkey would be more comfortable being addressed in English. Regrettably, the monkey did not respond in turn.

Let's see if we can't get the 'English as Official Global Language Clause' tacked onto some upcoming Congressional Bill, the global community is clamoring for it.

I have a lot more to say about the election and the state of the nation, but it will have to wait until I'm privied to a cheaper, faster internet connection. Until then...