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Wednesday, June 01, 2005
The Billiken Litmus Test
What type of man are you?
Would you attempt to pass off a $15 Canal Street Plastic/Pleather Watch as a $11,000 diamond-encrusted Jacob & Co. 4-time zone watch?
I've encountered this type of individual on two occasions. I've been forced to be complicit in this King Has No Clothes scenario for the sake of diplomatic workplace relations. I have to act as if I'm unaware of what a sham is sitting in the cubicle behind me everytime this bejeweled, bedazzled monstrosity of a watch crosses my line of vision.
Yesterday after a long weekend, I found myself in such a situation. I looked at the watch and cringed. I didn't want to have to force the moment to its crisis when he would ask me what I thought of his purchase. So I tried to avoid looking directly at the Canal Street Timepiece. But the inevitable question still came...
HE: "Gotim, what do you think of this sweet new watch that I picked up over the weekend?"
[Hmmm, what do I think? I think I have to work with you day in and day out and I'd rather leave it at --- NO COMMENT.]
ME: "It's nice, where did you get it?"
HE: "I have a friend who works at a place in the city."
[Ok vague response. I could leave it at that, but I sense some hesitation so I press him further.]
ME: "Is it real? What is that, about 2 dozen diamonds around the circumference?"
HE: "Yeaaaaa it's real try it on. See look at the back serial numbers and everything. If you like it I can see if I can get you one."
Some less-than-friendly advice...
To the co-worker from 4 years ago... You can't afford a $20,000 dollar 3-carat diamond Technomarine Watch when you make $8 dollars an hour answering phones at AAA. So when you ask me to check out your iced out watch... As Johnny Depp says,
"It's a Fugazi, forget about it."
And regarding my present day Office Space... You most certainly cannot complain about how expensive your appetizer sampler at Applebees is and then turn around and purchase an authentic $11,000 4-time zone watch from Jacob the Jeweler. As the Singapore Sling says,
"It's jus naaat feasuble."
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Would you attempt to pass off a $15 Canal Street Plastic/Pleather Watch as a $11,000 diamond-encrusted Jacob & Co. 4-time zone watch?
I've encountered this type of individual on two occasions. I've been forced to be complicit in this King Has No Clothes scenario for the sake of diplomatic workplace relations. I have to act as if I'm unaware of what a sham is sitting in the cubicle behind me everytime this bejeweled, bedazzled monstrosity of a watch crosses my line of vision.
Yesterday after a long weekend, I found myself in such a situation. I looked at the watch and cringed. I didn't want to have to force the moment to its crisis when he would ask me what I thought of his purchase. So I tried to avoid looking directly at the Canal Street Timepiece. But the inevitable question still came...
HE: "Gotim, what do you think of this sweet new watch that I picked up over the weekend?"
[Hmmm, what do I think? I think I have to work with you day in and day out and I'd rather leave it at --- NO COMMENT.]
ME: "It's nice, where did you get it?"
HE: "I have a friend who works at a place in the city."
[Ok vague response. I could leave it at that, but I sense some hesitation so I press him further.]
ME: "Is it real? What is that, about 2 dozen diamonds around the circumference?"
HE: "Yeaaaaa it's real try it on. See look at the back serial numbers and everything. If you like it I can see if I can get you one."
Some less-than-friendly advice...
To the co-worker from 4 years ago... You can't afford a $20,000 dollar 3-carat diamond Technomarine Watch when you make $8 dollars an hour answering phones at AAA. So when you ask me to check out your iced out watch... As Johnny Depp says,
"It's a Fugazi, forget about it."
And regarding my present day Office Space... You most certainly cannot complain about how expensive your appetizer sampler at Applebees is and then turn around and purchase an authentic $11,000 4-time zone watch from Jacob the Jeweler. As the Singapore Sling says,
"It's jus naaat feasuble."
