The Billiken's Bluff

As Ted Kennedy and Co. persist in their awkward, flailing attempt to smear Supreme Court nominee Sam Alito as a racist, they've been making some pretty heavy-duty accusations concerning the man's character and integrity. Among these, necessarily, is the claim that Alito is a dishonest smooth-talker who just can't be believed.

When Alito asserted that he could not even remember his association with an infammatory club as an undergraduate, for instance, Kennedy held a press conference expressing plain disbelief in the statement, finding the idea that a man would not remember his involvement in a club in college just a little too hard to swallow.



But I find Kennedy's skepticism a little overblown given what he and his ilk expect the American people to chew up and choke down on a regular basis. I almost choked on a Triscuit, in fact, when I read what followed at the confirmation hearing after Kennedy's press conference, when it turned out Kennedy never even looked into the claims he was making about Alito in order to smear him.

Arlen Specter, pointing out that no requests for the actual records that could have shed light on Alito's involvement in the organization were ever made, nor even mentioned to other members of the Judiciary committee:

"Sen. Kennedy and I frequent the gym at the same time and talk all the time -- and (he) never, never mentioned it to me, nor did he take it to the ranking member," Specter said.

Now I have heard some politicians make suspicious statements before. There have been plenty of claims from both sides of the aisle that the American public might cast a skeptical eye upon. But really.

Are we expected to believe that Ted Kennedy "frequents" the gym "all the time"??

Look at the man. Look at the size of the head on this man. The guy's kidney's would probably burst if he jumped up and down. His liver was probably removed and replaced with a septic tank in the early 80's. The gym?? Yeah right dude. He turns radish-red just talking at a press conference.



I'm willing to give Ted the benefit of the doubt here, but there's a lot of doubt. Can you really picture Ted rocking out in a cardio kickboxing class? Swinging away on an elliptical? Arlen Specter spotting Ted with a set on the ol' decline bench whilst they negotiate the next smear campaign against Alito? This dog just won't hunt.

You're suspect!