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Fasten, fit closely, bind together.

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Nomenclature 

I received a new re-designed NY driver's license in the mail. A magic eye wavy line protects chalking of IDs for underage drinking and general mayhem.



The back contains the same copy but I read it for maybe the first time:



I hereby make an anatomical gift.
Signature:

------------------


I'm not sure if this section is free form and you are expected to specify - kidney, ring finger, large intestine, cerebellum- or you are offering to make a gift of your entire person. I do know that this should be called an organ donation, you are an organ donor in this scenario, not a presenter of anatomical gifts. It's like politically-FCC-correctness gone... insane. Or is this some attempt at making the sales pitch? Like organ donation sounds too familiar, too much hassle, too "It sounds like the right thing to do and all but I'm just not sure if I want to do that, because I don't really believe in heaven, but what if I need all of my body parts for the ever after, just to be safe you know." An anatomical gift is new, it's exciting, a buzz word, fresh.... "you know what, I'll do it!"

It also reminds me of something Hubie Brown, would say towards the end of the 2nd round of the NBA Draft, after he's getting a little sloppy, tired and is somewhat conscious that he has said "this young man has tremendous, upside," for the 73rd time and wants to keep it fresh so expounds:

"some may question the Knicks taking Renaldo Balkman this early in the draft but he is 6'7" with a 7'2" wingspan, a truly anatomically gifted young athlete (with tremendous upside)."







Who cares right, is this a Seinfeld bit of standup, a little did you ever notice routine? It's funny though, to me. Like something the Ukrainian translator would have said in butchered English translation in Everything is Illuminated.



Idioms that don't quite do the needful.
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