The Billiken's Bluff

I was writing short stories for some fiction classes at NYU. This was before blogger and comment sections. For a bunch of stories I footnoted everything, like a comment section to myself, for everyone to read. The footnotes, the caveats, the rejoinders were written against an imaginary critic. I was worried that people wouldn't get the writing, which was mostly a bunch of attempts at clever references and humor about things that weren't necessarily that clever or humorous like barber shops or bath tubs.

Anyway maybe I should start using this technique again. Admittedly, my pictures and references have become such inside, circular references-



that no one, weinger or otherwise, could be expected to get it. So I will try this, going forward... a running commentary. Going backward.... I was told there was a two hour wait at Clinton St. Bakery for brunch on Sunday. There was a line outside, there was a line inside. They serve tasty obnoxious things like steel cut oatmeal with blackberries, or french toast with with some nectar reduction sauce. Stuff that makes you blush a little when it comes time to order them (ummm I’ll just have a cheeseburger, w/ American cheese, no that’s all). Anyway, two hours was too much I walked uptown and passed these two gentlemen eating some soup and something dried out of a packet that did not look fancy, but there was no wait, but yet and still, they looked less than amused, surly as all hell on this Sunday morning.



So there were a lot of opposites headed my way and in response I took that picture and ended up eating brunch somewhere else. French Toast with some berries.

steel cut irish oatmeal — 8

cinnamon sugar and sautéed apples

brioche french toast — 12

caramelized bananas, roasted pecans, maple butter

smoked salmon benedict — 15

with Petrossian smoked salmon

RNC smear commercial against Imus in the Morning favorite and Tennessee Senate hopeful, Harold Ford Jr.





So what if Harold Ford Jr. made a little sexy time at a Super Bowl after-party? Does that mean he is unfit for church pew? The man has the 10 commandments printed on the back of his campaign business cards, for the Lord Jesus' sake! This dude is versatile. From Bible Belt to liberal enclaves to Blaze a 50.

met her in San Diego at tha Super Bowl party.
had the Heiny sipped it up, wit Terrell Davis.
MVP, we flicked it up from Sports Illustrated.
I was silked out, flossin wit stout, he had the gators.
when she walked in, she lit up the room, like Las Vegas.

The first shots have been fired in this war pitting:

North v. South
Democrat v. Republican
Black v. White
A Party of Playboys v. A Party Whose Members Solicited Young Boys.

It's time to cowboy up.

In 2004 I drove through Tennessee on my way further south and stopped in a 7/11 type place at 5:00AM. I'd been driving through night and was disorientated. The clerk behind the counter sees me scanning newspaper headlines.

He says: "You know you're reading yesterday's news."

I looked puzzled, 5:00AM? New paper hasn't arrived? Delirium onsetting?

He continued: "All of that stuff in the paper happened yesterday. It's yesterday's news."

Oh.......

True story.

More evidence that liberals need to move out of their moms' basements and get jobs.

The first one was just a draft. Here it is, in living color.

Like a bad Wheel of Fortune Before & After puzzle.



I commisioned Tao to draw a likeness of this site's namesake:



And in turn I am plugging his collection of poems. Tao, here is a blurb for the backcover of your book:

"This Motherf**ker can write."

And the who, what, when, where, how of it:

You can now purchase YOU ARE A LITTLE BIT HAPPIER THAN I AM, a poetry-collection by Tao Lin.

You can read about it here. You can read a review here. Officially it comes out later than now, in November.

You can buy it from the action books website.

You can buy it directly from Tao (by paypaling binky.tabby@gmail.com $13). If you buy it directly from him he will draw you pictures and put them in the envelope.

You are neither cold



nor hot.



So because you are lukewarm,



You can build your filthy world



without



me



Krabi

That's like my mission statement, my raison d’être. I'm always looking and taking pictures and matching them with music and one-liners and out-takes from speeches and MSM articles and occasionally some of my own writing.



Solidarność, Awood.

Having been a fan since the first episode, I find it hard to believe that South Park is now in its tenth season. Maybe its because I haven't grown up at all since then, but in my opinion its still the funniest show you can find on television and some of the best satire ever produced.

Here's the first episode of the new season. Unfortunately, I can't link to any of the other great episodes from past seasons because Google snatched up YouTube and decided to care about copyright law.

The Yonhap news agency in China quoted an unnamed North Korean official who said that his nation could fire a nuclear-tipped missile unless the United States acts to resolve its standoff with the regime in Pyongyang, according to the Associated Press. The unamed North Korean official said:

"We hope the situation will be resolved before an unfortunate incident of us firing a nuclear missile comes."

I'm sure stilted translation from Korean to Chinese to English for a US wire service accounted for the (un)veiled threat.

You know something real subtle-like, along the lines of Fat Tony from the Simpsons saying:

"I'd just like to remind Mayor Quimby that accidents happen... such as the killing of you, by us."

And a child shall lead us.